The Beginning

It all started just over 2 years ago now, the major collapse anyway.  I awoke March 7th, 2009, in the middle of the night.  I was feverish, no just hot, really hot.  I got up, walked down the hall, reduced the temperature on the thermostat, started back to the bedroom, felt nauseous and headed for the washroom.  I stood there for a few moments, thought I was okay and started my way back to the bedroom, only just a few feet away.  The world revolved, I saw nothing, but felt the carpet on my face as I hit the floor. There I lay for a while until my strength returned, got up and crawled back into bed.  In the morning I awoke and carried on as usual.  As the week progressed, I found myself experiencing dizzy spells at work, the arches in my feet ached, my calves ached and I just felt odd.  My husband and I had reservations for that upcoming weekend to go skiing in Quebec for a few days.  We were to have a romantic ski week in this beautiful little bed and breakfast in Sutton, a 7.5 hour drive.  I was excited to go, but nervous since I wasn't feeling "myself".  My husband John and I thought it must be just a touch of the flu as all kinds of colds and bugs were going through the office.  By Thursday, I had a definite limp. Friday, still having not missed a day of work went as usual, but I knew there was something wrong and I was really limping, constantly.  Later that evening John packed up the car with our ski equipment and we were set to leave first thing the following morning.  I was exhausted and found it difficult to pack, just throwing anything into the suitcase.  Definitely not the normal me.  I was sick, but we were going anyway.  I awoke the following morning still exhausted and hurting everywhere.  We loaded our suitcase and me into the car and off we drove.  I think our first stop was in Bellville, I needed Tylenol, Advil or something.  I had pain everywhere.  My Achilles tendon on my right ankle, my big toe, my left knee, my right elbow, my hands ached, my neck hurt.  The pain kept rotating from joint to joint.  I thought if this the flu it must be bad.  The next stop, Kingston, we picked up some Voltaren cream, I bathed in it.  At this point as we were driving I had my feet up on the dashboard and my seat as far back as it could go.  I was in agony.  We stopped again later for lunch.  I just kept popping the Advil.  From here to the finish line was total torture, I was counting the minutes, the miles, just persevering the drive, we were too far now to turn around.  Finally we arrived.  I sat in the lobby while John registered us and carried our suitcase upstairs.  I laid on the bed stretched out, still managing to hold back the tears.  The pain, the pain.  John went out for a walk, found the liquor store, bought some wine and lots of coolers for me.  After a drink or two, I dressed and we went downstairs for a most romantic, absolutely delicious dinner with a bottle of wine.  After dinner we tried to go for a walk but I was unable to go very far.  I was dragging my right leg behind me as though it didn't belong to my body.  We went back to our room that had no TV for entertainment so we had a few more drinks so I could swallow the pain and went to bed.  It was an incredible night and not incredible in the way we had planned.  I had both feet under my husbands back trying to keep them straight as they were in a steady cramp.  My Achilles tendon felt like it had been cut.  My big toe was being stabbed.  I was drinking coolers and downing Advil's all night long.  I cried.  I knew this was no flu.  I was in agony but tell me how do you relay the amount of pain you are in to someone else.  What is the scale?  What can you compare it to for someone else to acknowledge.  I looked fine, I had no fever, I hadn't fallen anywhere.  In the morning I cried again as he opened the curtains to bright beautiful sunshine and was going to leave me to go skiing alone.  What was I going to do?  Read all day in bed?  I finally convinced him to take me.  I had a very hot shower trying to alleviate the aches and pains as much as possible.  We finally managed to get me dressed and downstairs for breakfast much later than expected, just as they were finishing serving I think.  Then we drove to Mount Sutton.  It took the two of us to shove my feet into the ski boots, they were still so badly cramped.  At least the boots forced them straight and I found I could actually move better with skis on than trying to walk.  All I had to do was slide each leg forward.  So...I managed to stand in line at the lift and make it to the top of the first run.  I thought it best to try a green run first to see if it was manageable.  Well, it was icy and I found I had absolutely no control over my leg muscles at all.  I was all over the place, just managing to miss trees and anyone below.  I made it down the hill and that was it.  I was done.  Once.  One run.  Finished.  Luckily it was a nice day and I had brought a book to read.  John helped me up the stairs to the ski chalet and there I stayed.  He skied and I sat outside and read.  I couldn't even make it to the bar for a drink.  I sat at a picnic table in the sun and leaned against a wall.  I shifted weight from one hip to the next, took my boots off, put them back on.  I sat there for what seemed like hours, but it was really only until lunch that I saw his head poke through the crowd and rescue me.  John drove me back to the B&B, made sure I had some food, lots of coolers to drink and left for what was the remainder of the afternoon to do a little more skiing.  I lay on the bed reading, popping Advil, eating and drinking coolers waiting for his return.  All I wanted was to go home.  After a beautiful afternoon and as many runs as he could squeeze in a short few hours, John returned to take me out for dinner.  He scouted out a restaurant close by and we walked, if you can call it that, to dinner.  It was again the best food, great wine and wonderful company, but I was hurting badly.  We went back to the room and I proceeded to have another night just the same as the last.  We got up the next morning, he packed up the car and we left.  He had prepaid our B&B and skiing for 4  or 5 days.  We had both booked the week off work, it was only Monday.  This was now March 15th.  Again I faced the torturous drive home and we made it back to Richmond Hill just before 5:00pm, just before the Rheumatologists office closed.  I thought he should just take me directly to Toronto General, but I think he still thought it was just the flu.  Why not, what else gives you aches in your bones, and so suddenly???